Let's see if I can make any of this make sense!

In Ephesians, it says, "And God raised us up with Christ and seated us
with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus" (Ephesians 2:6). In
spirit, we are already in the heavenly realms with in Jesus just as we
were crucified and raised with him.

So, how does that reflect my life? When I read this, I pictured myself
seated in heaven, in the throne room. Then, I pictured what that would
look like while I was living my life here. This is where it gets
difficult to explain, but I will try. When I am living my life on earth
for myself, seemingly oblivious to God, His kingdom, any of the like,
then my spirit in the throne room is oblivious to what is going on in
the throne room. It's like if I were seated next to Jesus, and instead
of taking in His glory, His power, all of who He is, and I just sat
there in a zone, with no focus on Him and all on myself. How ridiculous
would that be?

But isn't that how I often live? With the focus on me and not on God. With what I want, my thoughts, my hurts, my life.

"You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world
is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world
becomes an enemy of God." James 4:4

Have I become an enemy of God? Bluntly, yes. From the way I live my
life, from the focus I put on myself, I am living in the world, I am a
part of the world, I enjoy certain things of the world (though not the
"worst" of the world, but "...whoever keeps the whole law and yet
stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it." James
2:10).

I have become a friend of the world. Seeking quick fixes and momentary
pleasure instead of painful processes resulting in eternal joy. I know
in my heart that friendship with God is better than anything the world
could provide, yet I've allowed myself to conform to the world, to
blend in here, to just live rather than be alive.

But listen, "God jealously longs for the spirit that he made to live in
us". James 4:5 Going back to being in the throne room. With us there,
we have the Spirit in us. And whether we are absent minded or fully
focused, God desires the Holy Spirit. And He placed His spirit in each
of us. So, not only are we withholding ourselves from God, but we are
withholding His spirit from Him too. Maybe that's why He desires us to
be either hot or cold, to either hold His spirit or not (Revelation
3:15).

"But he gives us more grace." James 4:6