God shows me a lot through working with children.  Working at Virginia's creche, I have a lot of time to just sit and relax in the quiet of sleeping babies, holding a child in my arms as they fall asleep.  Sometimes it's difficult to find purpose in ministering to babies and toddlers, but, quite honestly, I can find so much meaning in holding them in my arms and being there to hold them.  It makes me think of how God is to us.  God is always there, especially when we just need to relax in His arms of love.  So often, I find that we, like children, are so unwilling to give ourselves fully to God.  It's as though He has to earn our trust.  We will be tense and try to hold our own weight, but slowly, as we realize that He will not let us fall, we begin to give ourselves over to Him.  Finally, once we have given fully, we are able to find full relaxation in Him and His strength, and we have the peace of mind to accept that He is with us.  Sometimes, though, we awaken to the physical world, we become fearful and try to regain control.  It isn't until we stop fearing that we realize that God still has us in His arms, then, the longer we rest in that, the more we are able to give to Him again. 

    Sometimes all these children need are just to be held, to know that you aren't going to let them fall.  There is one little girl in particular that I am referring to.  Her name is Ouya (ignore the spelling, it's probably incorrect).  She has completely captured my heart.  And the strange part is that she never smiles, never talks, and just sits; usually on my lap.  It took her a few times before she trusted me enough, but two weeks ago, she finally allowed herself to relax in my arms and fall asleep.  She did the same this week.  Now, when she sees me and I go to her, she immediately puts her arms up to be held in my arms.  I feel like my place in this is just to be there for her, though she is only two, to just be a constant in her life and be there to hold her, and to be there to hug and love on her. 

    I am slowly learning that ministry won't always look like we assume it to be, but the whole point of it is for us to be God to the people we are serving.  We are to be Jesus to the world.  And I can do that no matter what age group I am working with, even the babies.  Because I am not my own, I am a child of God and I have Jesus living in me.  And, in that, Jesus will shine through me.  Because it's not about me, it's about God and He is going to show Himself to who needs Him when they need Him and in whatever way He needs to.  For me, here in South Africa, I am His instrument to be used how He desires.  I am here, I am open, and I am willing.  I want to be Jesus to the world.