Over the past few weeks, God has really been revealing Himself to me in many ways.  Mostly, He has been revealing more of who He is and who I am in Him.  It is amazing for me to be able to actually step back and see how I am growing.  It's difficult enough to see gradual change, but even more so when it is gradual change in yourself.  I know God has called me here for a purpose this year and I am excited to be here to fulfill the purpose He has planned.

    Just as an update, here are a few of the things God has been revealing to me (they may be vague as I don't know the words to explain them completely at this time):

*Ezekial 36:36 ~ "Then the nations that are left round about you will know that I, the LORD, have rebuilt the ruined places and planted that which was desolate; I, the LORD, have spoken and will do it."

*The choice between life and death is our own (Deut. 30:15-20)

*Life is completely related to the Word of God (Ezek. 3:18, 14:13, 18:1, 20:1, 33:1)

*We gain our life from God's words (Deut. 8:3, Ps. 119:50, 93)

*"So choose life in order that you may live...  by loving the LORD your God, by obeying His voice, and by holding fast to Him; for this is your life and the length of your days..." Deut. 30:19-20

*"I will rejoice greatly in the LORD, my soul will exult in my God; for He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, and as a bride adorns herself with jewels." Isaiah 61:10

*As we were singing these worship lyrics: "We bow down, we lay our crowns at the feet of Jesus."  It made me think of a verse:

"You will be a crown of splendor in the LORD's hand."  Isaiah 62:3

From that, I began to realize something.  Sometimes, in life, it seems that more than seeking a life devoted to God, we are seeking who we can become in Him, or maybe it's just me.  But the more I see God and His face and His love, the less I matter and the more He does.  To the extent to which the thing I was seeking after, which He promised me (in this case the crown), I am willing to lay at His feet because it doesn't matter at all, He does.

And really, that's the point of everything.  To bring God the glory.  We are here for no other purpose than to worship God and allow His name to be known.  I am here, in South Africa, to spread His love and to share the good news.  It's not about me, or any sacrifices I may have made.  It's not about how I feel or what others say to me.  In the end, it all comes down to one thing, it comes back to the cross, and it points to God.  I think that, as Christians, sometimes we believe we're the flashing sign, we desire so much to not be a part of the world, that we try to stand out, flashing our neon lights and screaming, "Here I am, pay attention to how different I am!"  But, in reality, all we are and can ever be are arrows pointing the way to the true light.  And what could be better than that, than bringing God praise and glory?  At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if anyone knows my name, as long as they were able to see Christ. 

Maybe it's a lot more simplistic than we make it out to be...